Progress

Since I got the news about my knee, I have been deliberating 'when' and indeed 'if' I should have the operation.

The thing is, for the very first time in my life I am enjoying exercising, and am not only doing it very regularly (at least 5 times a week) but am seeing progress in a way I never have before.  I'm not really losing weight when I get on the scales, but I can feel my body changing and I can see the changes - I have muscles in places I've never had them before, and my fitness particularly when I run is totally different.  I spent years slogging out the miles running and running and running and running (shameless opportunity to link to this!), throwing in the occasional gym session, thinking I was doing ok for myself.  Now I realise that was just not the right approach for me.  I have been doing Body Attack, Body Balance, Pilates, seeing a personal trainer, running (including shorter interval training) and the occasional racketball session and I have never felt better.  

Another bonus is that my blood pressure appears to have normalised without medication, which I have been taking for the past five years or so as hypertension appears to be a hereditary trait in my family.  When I saw my GP and she told me that my BP was 120 over 85 I nearly fell off the chair!  She wants to do another 24 hour monitoring, and if that is OK then no more drugs for me.

On the running front, I have done a couple of out and back runs where I attempted to blast one mile as fast as I could, then turn around and jog back at an easy pace.  On both attempts I ran the fast mile in under 10 minutes, which is not something I think I have ever achieved before!  Also, the return mile on both runs was faster than my previous average, so definitely progress.  Then the past couple of weeks I have been working on gradual distance increases ready for the 10k in May.  Last week I headed out for a run around GPK and managed a 5k PB without even feeling like I was pushing it!  Today I headed out with the aim of running 4 miles.  I felt great for the first mile, however I've not been feeling great in the tummy department today so found the next couple of miles a bit tough, including getting a stitch, so decided to slow down the pace a little.  I ran 4.4 miles in total, and imagine my surprise when it was another 5k PB (by a second, but every second counts ok!) and my overall average was identical to the 3.5m run last week.  I have slogged out the miles for years with no discernible increase in pace, so it feels great to finally see that change a little!

The last improvement I have seen is totally vain - I randomly decided to try on a pair of jeans that were once my favourites.  They have been languishing in a drawer for a few years now because they didn't fit me, and to my surprise they now fit me again!  So much so that I took a photo - and I really wish I had taken before and after shots, or taken measurements or something, because my weight has pretty much only changed by a few pounds lighter, however the fact that I can comfortably fit in these trousers means I have without a doubt changed shape in a good way :-)

Warning - Post containing self pity and swearing!

This is an MRI scan of my knee.

I'll give you a clue - it's not meant to look like that!

I mentioned in my last post that I was thinking about seeing a different surgeon to look into why I am still getting so much hip and knee pain when I exercise, and a few weeks ago I went to see Dr Arvind who recommended a hip and knee MRI.  I went to see him today for the results.
The good news is that my hip labral tear is looking fine - no issues with the scan.  The not so good news is that my knee is looking less fine.... in fact it is looking pretty bad.  My kneecap is no longer in the right place and that is causing cartilage damage.  What you see in the picture is my patella veering off to the left, and the slight white tinge within the patella where it is meeting the bone is where the cartilage is being damaged.  This change in circumstance (I say that, because I had an arthoscopy on my knee during all the previous surgeries on my right leg which found it to be in pretty good condition) has probably occurred as a result of the osteotomy changing the way I walk/run etc.  So fixing one problem has caused another to come into focus.  *sigh*  This rotation of my kneecap is also the likely culprit for the hip pain as I am still placing undue pressure on my hip, just for a different reason now.  Apparently the catching sensation in my hip is quite common for people with this knee problem.

I listened to all this, and looked at the scan, and I just knew that he wasn't going to say we could fix this with physio!  Oh no, nothing can be that simple for me!  The only way to fix this is to have ANOTHER OSTEOTOMY, this time on the other end of my tibia (called a Fulkerson's Osteotomy if anyone wants to know more).  So they want to break my bone.....again....and move everything around....again.....
I don't know how I didn't blub right there and then, as the prospect of more surgery, and not insignificant surgery too, is something I really wanted to avoid.  I feel like I've done my time there, served my penalty for wanting to fulfil my marathon running dream dammit!  Why couldn't I just be one of those people who could do the training and run the race and that would be that?!?!  (I did warn you about the self pity party......)
This surgery involves another 6 weeks in plaster - 3 of which will be with a straight leg.  I only binned the fucking crutches from last time a few months ago!! (I warned you about the swearing too).

I haven't confirmed to Dr Arvind that I will have the surgery yet as I asked him if I could think about it for a little while.  He said that was fine, but stressed that I shouldn't put it off for too long as the damage to my knee will only get worse over time, as will the pain, and not having this operation now will probably result in requiring more major surgery at some point down the line.

Fuckity Fuck.

I have dealt with this information in a mature and sensible way - by having a good cry over a cup of tea and a massive slice of chocolate tiffin, and then booking myself in for an additional personal training session tonight to vent my frustration!

So the plan is to cram as much as I can in between now and my 10k in May, and then resign myself to spending some of the summer on crutches.  In the next couple of months I will keep at the gym classes and personal training (I can't even contemplate having to miss out on those as they are keeping me sane currently), try and get a few days skiing in, and then we have our two week holiday to Vietnam carried over from last October.  The Royal Berkshire 10k is in the middle of May, and I will book in for surgery as soon after that as I can so that I will be well back on my feet before we head to Brecon for a week with friends at the end of July.

Wish me luck, and good humour, because I think I may need it!

Seeking a second opinion

So 2016 has started off pretty well so far - albeit we are only 17 days in!

Thanks to the gym membership, and discovering how much fun racketball is, Pete and I have been going to the gym 2-3 times per week.  40 minutes of racketball and between 20-30 minutes on other kit (stationary bike, cross trainer, elliptical, rower, TRX stuff, etc).  Alongside that I have been running pretty consistently 2-3 times per week.  Starting at 1.4 miles and now running loops of either 2 miles or 5k.  One of my colleagues wanted to start up, so I have been running with him around Green Park, and also running from home on my own.
Pilates classes start up again next week too, and I am feeling the benefit of it all straight away - sleeping better, more energy and definitely good for my mental wellbeing.

There is one slight issue though.  Since I started exercising again, I am suffering with significantly increased hip and knee pain.  I have been wearing a knee support for racketball which really helps that, however when we were playing today I was really struggling with my hip.  I don't find it hurts when I am running or in the gym, however when I play racketball it has become more noticeable, and also it is back to occasionally waking me up at night.  Also post-exercise, it can be painful to walk and quite stiff.
I am going to sort myself out with a new pair of trainers for running as the ones I have now are the ones I did the marathon in and are getting a bit long in the tooth, however alongside that I think I am going to have to bite the bullet and get a second opinion on what is going on in my hip.  The previous surgeon signed me off from his care in spite of the fact that in the paperwork I filled out that day I had noted that I still suffered with hip pain daily for certain activities.  It might be that I need another cortisone injection in my hip, however I see that as a short-term solution only as there must be something going on in there for there to be significant pain still appearing almost two years post the labral tear operation.

2015 Summary

The last post I did on here was pre-Reading half marathon last year.  A loooong time ago!

I am not going to dwell on the half marathon too much, as to be honest it was one of the worst runs I have ever done.  I had to walk quite a lot towards the end, and honestly if I hadn't had Sui with me I'm fairly sure I wouldn't even have bothered finishing.  I don't know how much of it was in my head but running up the hill less than 5k into the race I was already thinking, I can't do this.  I felt like I had to drag myself around and about halfway in, I felt done in.  I wanted to run past the hospital where the previous year I had been watching from my room after my hip operation, however I couldn't even muster the energy, and instead walked past in tears.  And I sobbed uncontrollably when I finished too.  Ho hum!

I had a place for the London Marathon, and prior to the Reading half, there was a part of me that had a vague hope that I might be able to give it a go again.  After Reading I knew there was no way in hell, so instead Pete and I went along to Fetchpoint to cheer other runners on instead.  I actually found it really emotional, more so than the previous year.  I wanted to have been running it so badly, and it was a deferred place so no chance of carrying it over to 2016.

After that I took a step back.  I had totally fallen out of love with running and found it very difficult to start up again.  Then one of my Inspire friends did a 72 hour race (yes, you read that right!!) and did such an amazing job that I knew I would pick my trainers up again.  I had already entered a 10k a few months prior, however had decided I wasn't going to bother running it, but I was all inspired and decided to give it a go.  And it was great fun!  I actually enjoyed running!  I then went along to the Symantec World Run Day event at Green Park and realised that I could enjoy running if I didn't push myself so hard.  I met a lady who wanted to run at lunch times, and so we did a few times which was great.  I even took part in the 26.2 challenge in Maidenhead as part of the Campaign Monitor team, running two 2.62 mile legs.  I was slow but it was fun, and we even won a plaque for fastest IT team!
I continued running after work and started to creep the mileage up.  Only to around 5 miles or so but more importantly it was fun!  I even took my kit with my on a holiday to Brecon, and went for a run around Talybont Reservoir!

Towards the end of the year, life and work began to get in the way a bit.  If I'm honest, I was in a pretty bad place, resulting in being signed off work for a short while.  I did the occasional run of a couple of miles here and there, but nothing consistent.  Then in December, a new gym opened in Newbury and Pete signed us both up as members.  It turned out to be just the kick start I needed!  We started to go and spend an hour or so on different bits of exercise kit, and also began playing racketball.  I started to realise how much I needed the exercise for my wellbeing - I had more energy and was sleeping so much better!  My last run of 2015 was on boxing day, when I managed a little run around Hermitage with a grin on my face, and rounded off the year just nicely!

My brother and I at the start of the
Royal Berkshire 10k

After a run around GPK - treated myself to a whole load
of funky running kit this year

Setting off for leg 2 of the 26.2 Challenge

At Fetchpoint

26.2 Challenge - Team CM's plaque

Last sponsorship page

Finally set up my sponsorship page for the Reading Half!

Unless I ever run another full marathon (see last blog post.....pretty unlikely!), this will be the last time I hassle for sponsorship :-)

Pilates, Pain, Parkrun and other news

Blimey I've not been very good at keeping on top of my blogging have I!  I have a lot of little bits and pieces I've been meaning to blog for a while, however life has got in the way a bit.  Work has been pretty stressful, meaning often the last thing I want to do when I get home is open up a laptop again.  I've also been busy training, going to gigs and have upped my pilates sessions to twice a week.

I LOVE the pilates so much!  The teacher Kadi is lovely and the exercises are just the right amount of tough.  I've found myself feeling a little deflated on a couple of occasions when I've found certain exercises seemingly a lot harder than others in the class, however it isn't a competitive situation, it is just me being tough on myself usually.  There is one particular move, called a spine curl, that we do pretty much every week, and I have trouble with it every time because of my dodgy hip - something needs to click and only once it does can I do the move properly.  I asked my surgeon about this (oh yes, went to see him for the last time last week, more about that later) and he thinks it's the psoas tendon catching which is apparently common for people like me.  Apparently if it becomes a real problem, there is a keyhole surgery that can be done to release it, but I don't fancy any more surgeries thank you very much!

I have been experiencing pain in my ribs/shoulder area on my right hand side, and every time I went running I would get a nasty stitch in that side too, so my GP sent me for an x-ray.  It came back clear and the only thing he could suggest was going to see a physio - not a thought that filled me with optimism.  Luckily, Kadi is also an osteopath, so I have had a couple of sessions with her.  She has worked out what the problem is and has done some stretching of the offending muscles and some interesting diaphragm exercises!  Essentially my ribs on my right hand side have compressed together a bit, probably a result of me being a bit protective of that side (which is the side that has had ALL the operations on, and the side that is missing a kidney btw).  Alongside looking at this, she has done some work on my right leg, mainly my hip.  When I run, my hip is fine but I have been getting sharp pains in my knee.  Then when I stop running, my hip reverts to the same pain as before all the ops - namely sharp groin pain particularly going up stairs or trying to get into and out of cars.  Kadi thinks that the hip flexors on that side have become slightly contracted and shortened, meaning that when I run I am causing my leg to twist, putting extra pressure on my knee.  I'm not explaining that very well I know, but she showed me what she meant and it makes perfect sense!!  Last week she did a bit of taping for me, and a bit of acupuncture to release the muscles, to try to get me through the half marathon.

Speaking of that, can you believe it is less than a week away?!  Time has flown by.  I have managed to steadily up the mileage to my peak last week of a 10 mile run.  I found it torture - in fact all runs that have been more than 5-6 miles I have found really tough going!  Since then I haven't actually been for a run, so I need to get one more short one in before the race on Sunday.  My body is definitely letting me know that it doesn't like all this activity one bit.  I still sometimes struggle even when I'm covering a short distance that I know I should have the fitness and capacity to run with ease.  I have decided therefore, that this could well be my last half marathon.  My Inspire running buddies if they read this will note the subtle change from what I said just after I had finished the 10 mile run (where I firmly decided I would not be doing another half marathon)!!  At the very least I will be cutting back the distance to a more comfortable level after Sunday.  I like the sound of 4-5 miles, and I can run that sort of distance without too many ill-effects (meaning, I can generally still walk up the stairs afterwards!).

In other news, I had a Saturday morning a few weekends ago that was full of firsts.  My first run with the Hermitage Joggers/Newbury Runners, at the first ever Didcot Parkrun, which also happened to be my first ever Parkrun!  It was really nice to put some faces to names, and I enjoyed the parkrun experience.  The local one to me is actually Newbury, and a few of the people I met who live locally are regular attendees, so once the half marathon is out of the way I hope to get myself along to that more regularly.  Maybe my new goal should be to finally get myself a 5k PB, aiming for under 30 minutes??!!

As I mentioned, I saw the surgeon last week for the final time - one last x-ray and chat about how things are going.  I mentioned the pain after I run, particularly when I up the distance, and he said that maybe I should consider not running anymore.  I managed to retain some composure, because actually the ONLY reason I had the extreme surgery I did was because I wanted to continue being active, and specifically running.  If I had said to him back then that I planned to give up running, he wouldn't have done the osteotomy.  So, I had the osteotomy and now the thought is that perhaps I shouldn't run?  Forgive me if I find that hard to swallow!!  I accept that I have pushed my body beyond comfortable limits for this half marathon, as recovery has been slower than I had hoped for and training has been harder than I have experienced for any other half marathon.  I should have given myself more time to build up to this distance, however I'm struggling with the concept that I went through all those surgeries and it could have been for nowt!  I'm just not having it!!

Baby steps

I should start by saying, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I know I know, it's almost February already.....time is racing so fast this year!

I picked up a nasty cold/virus type thing over the Christmas break, so had a little while off everything.  I managed a run of a couple of miles on New Years Day, however a week later, still struggling with the chesty bit of the cold and a general lack of energy, I almost did myself a mischief trying to run the same distance again.  In fact, I didn't make it!  I thought I was going to be sick several times, and when I got home I literally made it through the front door before collapsing in the hall.  Pete had to help me up as my world was spinning, I couldn't focus, and I just didn't have the strength to stand up.  Bit scary actually!  Definitely a case of too much too soon.

Happily, with a bit of a rest and a few changes in diet, I seem to be back on the right track again.  I'm still doing Pilates once a week, and finding it enjoyable, and also a bit of an eye-opener as to how much muscle strength I have lost.  It's nice to see it slowly coming back though, and I do love the classes, which are just the right mix of hard work and relaxation!

As for running, well, last week I managed to up my distance to just over 5k for the first time since the marathon back in 2013!  I had been hovering around the 2 mile mark, and then I went for a run with my brother, who took me up to just under 3 miles.  I think it really helped to have someone to push me to that extra distance, as I was struggling to have the confidence in myself.  Since then, I have run 3.3 miles a couple of times.  It has felt good, if tough, but then it has been icy cold, which has not been an easy re-introduction for my chest.  When I first started running I had to use an inhaler, and there have been a few occasions recently where I reckon I should probably have used one again!  Also, Hermitage is a tad more undulating than I had first thought!

When I was out running on Saturday, I did have a moment where I thought to myself, how feckin amazing is my body?!  I have put it through so much, and yet here I am, out running again.  I think folk would have forgiven me for deciding that distance running wasn't my sport....and yet here I am, out training for another half marathon.  I think I might be slightly unhinged!  When I look back, I literally have no idea how I ever managed to drag myself around the marathon, but I did it.  In this (albeit slightly flawed) body, that is plainly not designed for running but that is getting on with it anyway.

I have decided this week to get my marathon vest and medal framed so that I can hang them in the hall and show them off.  I've had them hidden away; perhaps subconsciously I didn't want to look at them and be reminded that I could once do that, at a time when I struggled with simply walking around a supermarket.  Now, I want to look at them every day and be reminded that I could once do that!

The most proud of myself I have ever been

You don't get one of these without a lot of hard work......