More Needles?

I saw the specialist today to talk about how things are progressing.  So I told him that since I had a go at running I have had quite a lot more pain again, in my hip and knee in particular, where it was OK before.
My ankle is always a bit sore, but the hip and knee had both been doing fine.  Now, when I try to do things like squats or lunges I get sharp pain in the front of my patella, and my hip often feels like it needs to (painfully) click.  On several occasions I have had to stop whatever movement I was doing because of the pain.
I have also noticed that just generally my hip feels like it catches more, and aches like it did pre-op.

So, it looks like one of two possible situations;

1.  Running has made the joint inflamed, which is causing the catching sensation and the pain.  I need to monitor it for a couple of weeks and see if it improves, and if not then I will need to have a cortisone injection into my hip under local or general anaesthetic.

Or......and I'm really hoping for option one here......

2.  Running has re-initiated the labral tear.  My surgeon says I'd have to be pretty unlucky for this to be the case!  Four surgeries in, it has to be said I wouldn't use the word 'lucky' to describe my predicament so luck is something I am trying not to rely on if possible!  (Believe me, I do know things could be much worse, but still........)

Please if you read this, send a few good 'let it sort itself out on its own' vibes my way!!  The thought of another hospital procedure is not something I want to contemplate right now (although I do LOVE the sensation of being put under a GA!).

First Run Since VLM 2013

I had my final operation, to remove the metalwork from my ankle, in early July, and literally my first step after the operation was dramatically less painful than beforehand.  I can't tell you how good it felt just to be able to walk around my house and up and down stairs with so much less pain!  I was given crutches, and I literally used them to get to the car and then abandoned them, as I just didn't need them.

Looking at the x-ray, and seeing the metalwork, it's hardly surprising how much pain it caused whilst it was in place!

I rested up for a couple of weeks after the last operation, and then set off on a mission to get myself fit again.  I have started doing high intensity circuit training, alongside sessions on an exercise bike and (less frequently) a rowing machine.

I built this up over a couple of weeks, and was finding it all ok (tough, but in a good way!) and only occasionally getting twinges of pain in my ankle when doing high impact activities like jumping jacks, so  I spoke to my physio about having a go at running, and she said I could do it if I felt confident, but stick to a treadmill and be guided by pain.

I don't think I have ever been that excited about having a go on a treadmill before!!  OK, actually I don't think I have EVER been excited about using a treadmill.....I hate the things....but if it meant I could run then great!
I started off at a gentle jog, and within a couple of steps I knew it wasn't good.  A third of a mile in, the pain was quite bad, and I thought I should maybe stop.  But, just to clarify, I did mention I am stubborn didn't I, and  I was determined to do a mile at all costs.  So I did.  And the cost was, I was in agony (and tears) as I hobbled to my car.  Since then, I have had increased pain in my ankle, knee and more significantly my hip.  I completely stopped all exercise for a few weeks because I felt so miserable again!  I have no plans to run again anytime soon, and am back seeing the physio, who has modified a few of the exercises in my circuits to help strengthen my bad leg.  I have wondered a lot whether the big op was the right thing to do, given that I only did it on the proviso that if I didn't I wouldn't be able to run again without re-injuring myself, and here I am 10 months later, still unable to run.

All of this being said, it is looking less and less likely that I will be at the start line of VMLM 2015 as I had hoped.  I'm totally gutted about it, but I just don't see how at this point I could ever build up the mileage in time.

A Short Summary.....

I can't believe it has been over a year since my last blog.
And I am still not running.....
However, I am finally emerging from a long, painful and sometimes miserable recovery period.  I have learnt a lot about myself in the process of all this, and I'm pretty sure I have come out the other side stronger (mentally at least!).

How to sum it all up in a few words...hmmm....

Since I ran the London Marathon in 2013, I have had four operations on my right leg.  Yes, I think that is a good summary!!  I'll write another post about the operations themselves, as there is way too much to include it all here, but it has been pretty life-changing.

One of the operations, back in December 2013, was essentially a controlled break of my right leg.  It is fair to say that I have still not fully recovered from that, but I feel like I might finally be getting there slowly but surely.  The operation resulted in metalwork in my leg which was supposed to stay in for around two years, however it became apparent five months or so in that it needed to come out ASAP as it was the likely cause of the significant pain I was getting.  I don't know why I thought this, as I should know better by now (did the wrist saga teach me nothing!?!) but I kinda assumed that I would have six weeks in plaster, a couple of months recovery and building back up, and then all would be good again and I could start back running.  Oooooh how wrong you can be!!!  I was going to physio regularly, and doing exercises to build strength, however nothing seemed to change, and walking was constantly painful - often unbearably so.

Being a bit of a stubborn (and impatient) soul, I don't think I did myself many favours, constantly trying to push the limits and not always listening to my body, but if I am honest I found the whole situation beyond frustrating, and actually really depressing.  Can you imagine waking up every morning knowing that every step you take that day on your right leg is going to hurt?  There were days where I didn't want to get out of bed, and often weeks where I barely left the house.  And most of the time, being in bed wasn't even much of a relief, because particularly in the first couple of months after the operation it was impossible to find a position where both my hip and my ankle were pain free.  Running is therapy for me, allowing me space and time to empty my mind.  When unable to run, going for a walk is the next best thing, guaranteed to improve my mood and make me feel better about myself.  Being unable to do either, at a time in my life where I really needed the headspace (moving house, significant unwanted and stressful job changes, and engagement and wedding in the space of a couple of months, coupled with the impact coping with injury and pain has on a person) has meant that there have been times when I have really struggled in the past year.

A typical physio session.......