I've been told in the past that I'm quite a sensitive person. That I take on others worries and sadness and let things get me down. It's totally true I know, it's not a conscious thing it's just how I am, and so I have spent some time learning how to change thought patterns and negative cycles and just be a more positive and happy person.
A friend once said to me that one of his little tactics was to always reply 'I'm good' whenever someone asked him how he was. Not 'I'm OK' or 'Not bad', always reply that you're good. In that way you are telling your mind to focus on the things that are good and not the things that have irritated you already today, or how stressed you are about such and such etc etc.
I have definitely become someone who sees more of the funny side, and someone who actively seeks to find something positive out of a bad day, this much I know. I have reaped the benefit of this on many occasions where in the past I would have been miserable or upset and angry, and in the process I have generally become a happier, brighter person. I'm not saying I'm the life and soul, just that I'm a lot better than I was (is that a negative thought?!!).
On the flipside, I also believe that the whole 'must be positive all the time' thing can be unhealthy. At least I know that it can be unhealthy for me! There comes a point when putting a lid on your emotions is no longer the right thing to do, and it is time to just allow yourself to be sad, or angry, or whatever it is you are feeling. Sod it if other people don't get it, take some time out and do whatever it is you need to do to deal with it, and only then can you put it behind you and move on.
Often when I'm feeling angry or frustrated I visualise myself smashing crockery against a brick wall. One day I may actually buy some crockery for the sole purpose of smashing but thankfully it hasn't come to that yet!!!! I also find listening to music and singing (not for people to hear obviously!!) is excellent at getting me out of a bad mood. When I'm feeling sad, I cry. I have gradually over the years become one of those people who cries at bloomin adverts on the TV, let alone when something is actually sad!! I've yet to find a better coping mechanism for sadness so usually I end up comfort eating, having a couple of glasses of wine and a good old sob.
You may be wondering what on Earth this has to do with my Marathon journey, this random rambling of mine, and in all honesty I applaud you for getting this far into this blog post that you probably thought would be about running!!!
Well it is connected in a way, as I previously mentioned that I use running as a form of therapy. I can run off a bad mood, I can run to take my mind off things, I can run if I'm feeling sad and know that I will feel less sad by the end. But I also mentioned I run to show that I care, about 'those that have fought the battle and won, those still fighting, and those who have fought the battle and lost'.
Well, today one of those fighters lost his battle against Pancreatic cancer. Which in my book, makes today a sad day, and I make no apologies for that.
RIP Foxy.
You didn't get to do the Marathon yourself this year, I'll make damn sure I'm there on your behalf next year.
