Progress

Since I got the news about my knee, I have been deliberating 'when' and indeed 'if' I should have the operation.

The thing is, for the very first time in my life I am enjoying exercising, and am not only doing it very regularly (at least 5 times a week) but am seeing progress in a way I never have before.  I'm not really losing weight when I get on the scales, but I can feel my body changing and I can see the changes - I have muscles in places I've never had them before, and my fitness particularly when I run is totally different.  I spent years slogging out the miles running and running and running and running (shameless opportunity to link to this!), throwing in the occasional gym session, thinking I was doing ok for myself.  Now I realise that was just not the right approach for me.  I have been doing Body Attack, Body Balance, Pilates, seeing a personal trainer, running (including shorter interval training) and the occasional racketball session and I have never felt better.  

Another bonus is that my blood pressure appears to have normalised without medication, which I have been taking for the past five years or so as hypertension appears to be a hereditary trait in my family.  When I saw my GP and she told me that my BP was 120 over 85 I nearly fell off the chair!  She wants to do another 24 hour monitoring, and if that is OK then no more drugs for me.

On the running front, I have done a couple of out and back runs where I attempted to blast one mile as fast as I could, then turn around and jog back at an easy pace.  On both attempts I ran the fast mile in under 10 minutes, which is not something I think I have ever achieved before!  Also, the return mile on both runs was faster than my previous average, so definitely progress.  Then the past couple of weeks I have been working on gradual distance increases ready for the 10k in May.  Last week I headed out for a run around GPK and managed a 5k PB without even feeling like I was pushing it!  Today I headed out with the aim of running 4 miles.  I felt great for the first mile, however I've not been feeling great in the tummy department today so found the next couple of miles a bit tough, including getting a stitch, so decided to slow down the pace a little.  I ran 4.4 miles in total, and imagine my surprise when it was another 5k PB (by a second, but every second counts ok!) and my overall average was identical to the 3.5m run last week.  I have slogged out the miles for years with no discernible increase in pace, so it feels great to finally see that change a little!

The last improvement I have seen is totally vain - I randomly decided to try on a pair of jeans that were once my favourites.  They have been languishing in a drawer for a few years now because they didn't fit me, and to my surprise they now fit me again!  So much so that I took a photo - and I really wish I had taken before and after shots, or taken measurements or something, because my weight has pretty much only changed by a few pounds lighter, however the fact that I can comfortably fit in these trousers means I have without a doubt changed shape in a good way :-)

Warning - Post containing self pity and swearing!

This is an MRI scan of my knee.

I'll give you a clue - it's not meant to look like that!

I mentioned in my last post that I was thinking about seeing a different surgeon to look into why I am still getting so much hip and knee pain when I exercise, and a few weeks ago I went to see Dr Arvind who recommended a hip and knee MRI.  I went to see him today for the results.
The good news is that my hip labral tear is looking fine - no issues with the scan.  The not so good news is that my knee is looking less fine.... in fact it is looking pretty bad.  My kneecap is no longer in the right place and that is causing cartilage damage.  What you see in the picture is my patella veering off to the left, and the slight white tinge within the patella where it is meeting the bone is where the cartilage is being damaged.  This change in circumstance (I say that, because I had an arthoscopy on my knee during all the previous surgeries on my right leg which found it to be in pretty good condition) has probably occurred as a result of the osteotomy changing the way I walk/run etc.  So fixing one problem has caused another to come into focus.  *sigh*  This rotation of my kneecap is also the likely culprit for the hip pain as I am still placing undue pressure on my hip, just for a different reason now.  Apparently the catching sensation in my hip is quite common for people with this knee problem.

I listened to all this, and looked at the scan, and I just knew that he wasn't going to say we could fix this with physio!  Oh no, nothing can be that simple for me!  The only way to fix this is to have ANOTHER OSTEOTOMY, this time on the other end of my tibia (called a Fulkerson's Osteotomy if anyone wants to know more).  So they want to break my bone.....again....and move everything around....again.....
I don't know how I didn't blub right there and then, as the prospect of more surgery, and not insignificant surgery too, is something I really wanted to avoid.  I feel like I've done my time there, served my penalty for wanting to fulfil my marathon running dream dammit!  Why couldn't I just be one of those people who could do the training and run the race and that would be that?!?!  (I did warn you about the self pity party......)
This surgery involves another 6 weeks in plaster - 3 of which will be with a straight leg.  I only binned the fucking crutches from last time a few months ago!! (I warned you about the swearing too).

I haven't confirmed to Dr Arvind that I will have the surgery yet as I asked him if I could think about it for a little while.  He said that was fine, but stressed that I shouldn't put it off for too long as the damage to my knee will only get worse over time, as will the pain, and not having this operation now will probably result in requiring more major surgery at some point down the line.

Fuckity Fuck.

I have dealt with this information in a mature and sensible way - by having a good cry over a cup of tea and a massive slice of chocolate tiffin, and then booking myself in for an additional personal training session tonight to vent my frustration!

So the plan is to cram as much as I can in between now and my 10k in May, and then resign myself to spending some of the summer on crutches.  In the next couple of months I will keep at the gym classes and personal training (I can't even contemplate having to miss out on those as they are keeping me sane currently), try and get a few days skiing in, and then we have our two week holiday to Vietnam carried over from last October.  The Royal Berkshire 10k is in the middle of May, and I will book in for surgery as soon after that as I can so that I will be well back on my feet before we head to Brecon for a week with friends at the end of July.

Wish me luck, and good humour, because I think I may need it!