An overdue catch-up

As I said in my last post, I have lots of things I have been wanting to blog about - problem is nobody told me that my brain would turn to complete mush the week running up to the marathon (running, see what I did there?!!?!).  I literally have started to lose the plot - left my handbag round someone's house, couldn't remember the items on a shopping list (there were only 5 of them), couldn't complete a simple sum to work out how to tip my hairdresser, in fact had a complete mental block on how to even get to my hairdressers yesterday (yes, I have been there many times before!).  Also nobody mentioned the paranoia - every time I walk down stairs (thankful to live in a bungalow) and also when I was in the car on the way back from my hair appointment, I remembered that last time I made that journey someone crashed into me and gave me whiplash - cue the most trepidatious driving past the place where the crash happened!

Whenever I think about Sunday I am hit with butterflies and a slight feeling of nausea.  Which is a shame, as it enters my thoughts approximately every 10 seconds or so!  So much so that I am struggling to eat, and every good marathon runner knows that I should be carb-loading right about now.

I think what would calm my nerves would be to have myself a bit more organised, but whenever I think of the things I need to do (sew on buttons, pack bags, wash running kit, sort out trains and times etc.) I find myself painting my nails, or epilating my legs or some other such activity.  Which whilst nice to get done, is not critical to my marathon success!  In summary, when it comes to getting myself organised, I appear to be doing a damn good impression of an ostrich.

So anyway, I do actually have some things to share with you!

First, I promised a picture of my marathon outfit (no, it isn't an ostrich costume!), and I have finally got around to sewing on buttons and ironing on my name!  I have a couple of more buttons to add, and the trousers may change to 3/4 length if the weather is looking warm enough, but you get the general idea.  Please note the optimism implied by the fact that I am wearing sunglasses....

 

Secondly, I do have a little bit of not-so-good news.  I saw the physio about the sharp pain I experienced after my aborted run, and had some massage and was shown some stretches and exercises to do.  I then went for a run with Sui at the weekend in glorious sunshine.  It was originally going to be around 10 miles, but even before we set out we had decided to make it more like 8, just because at this point I don't want to risk anything.  The pain came back pretty much the moment I broke into a running stride, and lasted for the full 6.5 miles that we covered.  Significantly worse going uphill, so I'm grateful to learn that there won't be too many inclines in London, however generally it has slowed me up quite a lot.  My target had already slipped from 5hrs 30 to 6hrs.  Now, I just don't have any target other than getting around.  I know I can grit my teeth and keep going, and I will also be taking painkillers to try and take the edge off, but there's not much more I can do.  Seems my body has decided it has had enough and needs a rest two weeks too early.  I have seen the physio twice more this week and we have tried everything - massage, assisted hip/pelvis stretches to try and re-align, acupuncture, and a LOT of taping.  I have almost enough tape on my right bum cheek and hip to get away without underwear!  I just have everything crossed that all of the things we have tried will go some way towards making Sunday a little less painful.
In order to cheer myself up a bit, and as a memento of the day, I made a completely frivolous purchase from the Thomas Sabo website, and have the below charm to carry around the course with me.  After the race I will hopefully get it engraved, and it will serve as a lasting reminder if times get tough that I am capable of achieving more than I ever thought possible, and that you should never give up!

Thirdly, due to the generosity of my friends, family, colleagues and even people I don't actually know, I have already smashed my fundraising target!  Not only that, but I have been pretty overwhelmed by the support, encouragement and kind words I have had from all over the place.  I have had texts, emails and facebook posts, and special mention to Kate for the beautiful hand-knitted arm-warmers I received in the post yesterday.  It may well be too warm to wear them when I run, but I am going to wear them to the start line anyway and pack them in my kit bag before I head off.  So I wanted to take an opportunity to thank you all. It means the world to me!

Finally, I wanted to take a minute to say a huge thank you to my lovely Pete.  I am well aware that the training schedule for a marathon is a pretty selfish one, especially when you are as slow as I am!  I feel a bit like this year has been on hold - there are so many things we have said we will do 'after the marathon'!  As the runs have got longer, and my recovery time from them has increased, there have been whole days that have had to be written off because I was incapable of doing anything.  And Pete has just been there for me - running a bath for me before I even get home from a run so I can get straight in and warm up, going out to get shopping and cooking me dinner when I have been too tired/needed to train/couldn't walk after a long run, rubbing my shoulders when I have been in pain from the increased mileage combined with the whiplash, booking the hotel for London so I didn't have to worry about it.......I could go on but I'm sure you get the idea!  I have no idea if Pete even reads my blog, but if you're reading this Pete, YOU ROCK and I love you.

The best of humanity

When I got home from work yesterday I sat down to write a blog post.  I had lots of things going around and around my head that I wanted to get out - good news and not so good.  But my thoughts and emotions were all a bit jumbled and I sat with an empty draft blog open (that I couldn't even come up with a title for) for quite some time before I just gave up and got on with my preparations.
For a first time marathoner, there are lots of unknowns, and therefore lots of seemingly ridiculous preoccupations - I have been worrying about when to cut my toenails, and making sure they are painted (you'll be relieved I'm sure to know that I did that last night!), which sunglasses to wear and which trousers.  In fact what to wear full stop to be honest!  Worrying about the small details has become a way of taking my mind off what is coming I am sure!

As I sat down to try and eat my second carb-loaded meal of the day, I saw the news about the explosions at the Boston Marathon on the news.  My immediate reaction was one of utter shock and disbelief.  And when I say shock I do mean that in a physical sense - I felt sick and started to shake (still shaking a little bit as I write this post), and tears started falling.  The running community is quite a close-knit one, with a significant online presence which is used to inspire, motivate and support one another, and this attack immediately sent shockwaves amongst us all.  I have running friends online who were trying to account for friends they knew to be running.  It felt very personal to me that such an event was targeted.  An event which brings together people of all ages, nationalities and faiths.  Running is a sport that has no boundaries and makes no such exceptions.  It is a sport that celebrates achievement at all levels - those who win, those who finish and those who simply give it their best shot are all respected within this community.

There is a saying, which I had shared on facebook a few days ago, that if you are losing faith in humanity you should go and watch a marathon.  That an event such as this was targeted is beyond belief for me and my heart goes out to those in Boston who have been affected.  When I line up at the start of the London Marathon on Sunday, those people will be in my thoughts, and I will be wearing a black ribbon as a mark of solidarity and respect.  From what I know of the running community, I have no doubt that many others will be doing the same, and I am proud and honoured to be a part of something that represents the very best of humanity.

Given the Elbow!

I'm pleased to report that I managed 50 minutes in the gym yesterday!

10 minutes on the rower (no hip pain), 10 on the cross-trainer (some pain but not too much) and then 30 minutes personal training (let's not mention pain here!).

Rocci, my PT, concentrated mainly on my upper body/shoulders, but also showed me a very good stretch which seemed to get the exact spot.  So I did circuits of upper body, deadlift, step and Russian medicine ball twist, followed by a rest and repeat of the stretch.  The twist also stretched the painful area and by the end of the session there was much less pain doing both the stretch and the twist.

But being the nice guy that he is, Rocci also got the foam roller out to have a go at my ITB and also the piriformis issue, just to make sure!  Once he had found the painful bit in my hip he stuck his elbow in, and purely on reflex I nearly hit him!  I'm glad I didn't as he is an experienced MMA fighter!  It felt like a red hot poker being shoved into my hip, and was the sort of pain that was difficult to tolerate, however since he did that I have had no pain at all so I guess it worked.
As a result of my various injuries (broken wrist, dislocated knees etc) I have been told that I have quite a high pain threshold by a few people, including the physiotherapists I have seen.  Even so, I am not so much looking forward to my physio session on Friday morning now - I have a strong suspicion that a similar amount of pain may be inflicted!

I know it's all worth it though.  To think that on Saturday I couldn't walk, and that now on Wednesday I am mostly pain-free and my dream is still alive is pretty amazing and not something I am taking for granted.  Zeph had her operation today, and so is one step closer to leaving cancer behind.  We exchanged a couple of texts and she told me she was proud of me and honoured that I was doing this with her in mind, and also hoped that I was ok after reading about my injury.  If ever a bit of perspective was needed, that was it for me!  To know that people are proud of me, and to know I am raising money to help the diagnosis, treatment and ultimately, hopefully, a cure for cancer is massively inspiring and motivating.
Between now and race-day, the strategy is rest, gym, one last 10 miler at the weekend, maybe a short 3 miles or so next week and that is about it.  Oh and eat!  Bring on the carbs!

Zizzi Strozzapreti Pesto Rosso

Not so much 'Keep Calm and Run a Marathon', more 'Try not to panic too much'

After the last long run, I have been taking it easy.  Given I have a few niggles going on in my left ankle and knee, it is taking me a good couple of days to recover from the longer runs.  At this point it is officially taper-time, and so I have really laid off and just planned on going to the gym, one last long run of around 16-18 miles and then a 10 mile run the weekend before the race.

If I'm honest, I have developed a bit of a fear of running, and I really don't know why.  It could be because of the pain, it could be fear of getting injured, or just not wanting to run on my own (which used to be a highlight for me!), who knows.

Anyway Saturday morning came around and fair play to the weather, it really seemed as though spring had arrived!  Warm sunshine meant that I felt confident enough to try out my marathon kit (albeit with a windproof over it which I hope not to have to wear on the day).
I haven't really mentioned this in my blog yet, but the issue of what to wear on marathon day has become a sort of obsession for me - I think it is diversion from thinking about the big issues, like the fact that I am about to do a marathon!!  I have ordered about 5 different running tops, all of which were hopefully going to be 'the one' to wear on the day under my charity vest.  The problem is, the weather has been so appalling and cold, that I have been struggling to decide whether I will need long sleeves or short sleeves, or even a full on ski jacket (only a little bit joking!!!!).  So imagine my happiness when I discovered these little beauties;

These are arm-warmers, so if you get too warm, you can simply roll them up/down.  And better still, you can have a funky slogan on them to cheer you up if you are flagging - mine say 'If found on ground, please drag across finish line'.  They are super-soft and well worth the money it cost to get them sent from the States (almost the price of the arm warmers themselves!).  So I have now decided on my final marathon outfit (obviously still slightly weather dependent) which I will post a picture of in a couple of days when I have added the finishing touches (need to iron on my name and sew on my buttons).

Anyway, I digress, back to Saturday morning and the 16-18 mile run I had planned with Sui.  Glorious weather and up early to make sure I was properly fuelled, meant that for a change I was in a positive frame of mind as we set off to Green Park to start running.  We set off and within half a mile or so I was feeling a bit of pain in my right hip.  I often get a few aches and pains when I start running, which settle down as my body settles into a rhythm, so I wasn't too worried.  After the first lap, around 2 miles in, I realised the pain was getting worse and so decided to stop and have a quick stretch to see if I could work out what was going on.  We ran another half a mile after that and to begin with it felt ok, but the longer I continued the more it hurt.  And so for the first time ever in my life, I had to abandon the run.  Less than three miles covered, and actually I struggled just to walk the last half a lap back to the car as the pain was so intense.  It felt like someone had punched me in the outside of my hip and I had a sort of dead leg, but with sharp intense pain all over the top of my leg and hip area.  I was gutted!  However after the short drive home, walking from the car to the house was OK, so I began to wonder whether whatever it was had already started to resolve itself.  I got in the bath and spent some time massaging the painful area, and stretching as much as I could, and was having no problems walking around the house at all.  So Pete and I headed off into Newbury as I needed to visit a jewellers there.  We don't know Newbury at all, nor did we know where the jewellers was, so law of sod dictated that the car park we found was literally at the opposite end of town to the jewellers!  The further I walked, the more intense the pain.  I was grabbing onto Pete and was really quite close to tears on several occasions, but short sitting down breaks would ease the pain for a couple of minutes.  Once we had been to the jewellers, we decided to sit down and have a coffee so I could have a proper rest before the walk back to the car, which again helped for the first couple of minutes of walking but by the time we were back to the car I was in agony again and very tearful.

Pete was off out that night and I was feeling pretty distraught about the fact that with just over two weeks until the marathon, I was unable to walk, let alone run.  I have always said that at the very least and if all else fails, I know that I can walk 26.2 miles, and here I was struggling to walk from my house to my car.  It has to count as a real low-point not only in my training but just in general for me.  That might sound overly dramatic, but for me this marathon isn't just a race, it is a dream that I have worked hard to achieve (and one I never thought I would) and it is an emotional journey, as I'm sure everyone who has read this blog will know.  Injury put me out of the running last year, and you can only defer your place once, so it feels a bit like now or never.
Thankfully, I have wonderful people in my life, who came forward in my hour of need to sort me out!  Sarah not only invited me round to spend the evening with her and family, but she even came to collect me and dropped me off again so that I could have a glass of wine!  That's really going above and beyond, and I felt so much better to have some company, have a laugh and watch a movie.  OK so I didn't watch all of the movie, because Doug Bug is just too cute and I couldn't stop staring at him sleeping next to me or in my arms!
Add to that my running friends who came out with advice and encouragement, including specific stretches to try, and by Sunday morning I was feeling much more positive.  Still in pain but nowhere near as much, which made me realise how much actually resting is key to this.  Resting and stretching!

Today I have sorted myself out with a physio appointment and will be stretching and using my foam roller before bed again, and then tomorrow I will brave the gym for personal training and hopefully a quick go on the cross trainer as a little test.  I have everything crossed and feel positive that this will not stop me, but I know I need a little bit of luck too, so once again, please wish me luck!!!!

Number 18006, it's time for your Taper!

Imagine my surprise when Good Friday came along, and I got up for my longest training run for the marathon to a morning of glorious sunshine.  No rain, snow or sleet, just a few fluffy white clouds surrounded by blue sky, and the welcome return of the big yellow ball in the sky!  A positively balmy temperature (well, one in the positive end of the scale anyway).  Basically, exactly what I ordered from the weather fairy in my last blog post!

Sui and I set off to GP and parked up, and then off we went with the aim of covering 20 miles, or 12 laps.  There was a bit of a breeze and it was still a bit chilly at times, but after one lap I ditched my hydro pack in the car as I was overheating with it on (in hindsight, too many layers of long sleeves).  We set into a nice little routine - the back part of the loop along Longwater Avenue was sheltered from the breeze and warm, so we would both unzip our tops, then running along Brook Drive was into a breeze and thus a tad cold, so up would go the zips again.  Given I am going to go for a run/walk approach on race day, we decided on a short walk every two laps (approx every 3 miles).  I stopped a couple of times to go to the car for gels and water, and on other walk breaks I had sugar tablets (or sweets that Sui had) and a mouthful from her bottle.  It felt good not to have the hydro pack on so I think I will leave it in the car again next time rather than lug it about.  I do like it for slightly shorter runs but I have been really struggling with neck and shoulder pain on these longer runs and I don't think the hydro pack has helped.
Anyway, about 6 laps in, half way round, I was really struggling.  Struggling to settle my breathing (and a stitch that started after about two miles), struggling to pick my feet up which meant lots of stones in my shoes (three on one lap!) and extra walk breaks.  No idea why, although I think maybe I need to consider a bit more food early in the morning before long runs.  My legs always felt like they could keep going (even when they were hurting) but the rest of my body was not so sure!  I felt a bit better after a few more laps, and then suddenly it was three laps to go.  Last time I did this, I only managed to run that far before heading in to the treadmill, but I was actually feeling ok this time out.  With Sui's considerable help, I managed the last three laps, which took us up to 20.53 miles in 4hrs 35 minutes!  The longest I have ever run and the peak of my marathon training, but best of all, run with a friend in glorious sunshine and without getting wet or snowed on!

I spent the rest of Good Friday pretty much horizontal!  Spent over an hour in the bath (another first for me!) and then the rest of the day with my feet up and occasionally with ice on either my knee or ankle.  Walking was a painful shuffle, but to be honest I had about as much pain across my shoulders and I really think that is going to be a consideration for me on race day.  Sui had me rotating my shoulders on the walk breaks and that did help to relieve the tension a bit but the pain can be quite intense at times!

Since the long run I have been feeling really quite emotional about the race.  Now that I have hit the 20 mile barrier, I guess it brought home to me firstly how tough this is, secondly how far I have come, and thirdly, the race is now less than three weeks away.  Three weeks which officially means time to taper.  No more upping the long run distances, but plenty of time for worry and doubts to creep in, and plenty of time to start fretting over all the details.  During the week before Easter, my registration pack arrived, and I was literally shaking reading it.  Worse still, I read it cover to cover but seem to have taken absolutely none of it in (bar my race number which seems to be ingrained on my memory - maybe inspiration for another tattoo?!).  I couldn't tell you which colour start I am (possibly Blue) or what tube station that entails getting off at.  I have asked Pete about the hotel several times, and several times he has told me, but I still don't know where I am staying.  I am stressing over what to wear on race day and have just today ordered yet another running top (short sleeved this time) to try out.  If it isn't comfy when I wear it on my last longish run (18 miles or so this weekend) then I will probably have some sort of meltdown!  I have yet to decide whether to carry some gels, or whether to take sweets or sugar tablets, and indeed how I am going to carry them.  All of these things I really should have thought about some time ago, but I think I have been in some sort of denial?!  Sometimes I really feel utterly terrified!  I don't even really know why - I have trained (could have done more short runs, but the long ones are in the bag) and have also accepted that for me the goal is just to finish.  I know I will be run/walking, and hell I don't even care if I end up walking all of the last six - so long as I finish in under 8 hours I will still get a medal and it will still be an achievement that I can be proud of.  I have placed absolutely no pressure on myself, and neither has anyone else, but I am shaking even typing this, just thinking about the big day!

Is this the madness of the taper, first timers nerves, or a combination of the two?  Or am I just a little bit unhinged?!  Who knows.  But what I do know is that I will do everything I possibly can, and give everything I have within me, to ensure that I make it from the start line to the finish line.
26.2 miles.  Bring it on!